5 People You Should Know (And Love)

I couldn’t fall asleep last night because my dad’s snoring sounded like a giant industrial machine coming to kill me and my family, it was raining, and random thoughts and vague fantasies were exploding in my head like schizophrenic fireworks.

So I shut my eyes and tried to drift off happily into a world of dreams. I’ve heard that the harder you focus on falling asleep, the harder it is to actually fall asleep. To distract myself, I decided to think of all the people in the world that I’d like to meet.

In my brain, these people paraded themselves in front of me in a form of competition that was a bit like “Survivor” mixed with “America’s Next Top Model”. What follows is a list of the people who won in my imagination. I have put them here because everyone should know and love these people, not only because all of them look good in Anna Sui, but also because they are incredibly talented.

1. Louise Rennison, the evil genius/mastermind behind the Georgia Nicholson diaries. She practically created her own language filled with words and phrases like “boy entrancers”, “nuddy-pants”, and “double cool with knobs”. Through all of her hilariousness, she’s always insightful and makes those of us who are probably clinically insane feel a little better.

2. Chris Colfer, the actor who portrays the adorable Kurt Hummel on Ryan Murphy’s “Glee”. He’s a good role model because his character is strong but relatable, and Colfer is a believable actor. His fashion sense is top-notch. In all of the interviews that I’ve seen with him, he seems poised and sincerely sweet.

3. Ellen DeGeneres, who voiced Dory in “Finding Nemo” and is a warm and friendly talk-show host. I feel like I know her personally. She has written books that are filled with laugh-out-loud funny-ness, and her TV show brightens the most dismal of mornings.

4. Javier Bardem. Sex God extraordinaire with a gorgey accent.

5. Michael Cera, who has his roots in Arrested Development. He is as cute as a button but he’s capable of playing a jackass.

The runners-up include: 1. Jane Austen, the brilliant woman behind six nearly perfect novels that I’ve read at least twice each; 2. Oscar Wilde, pretty much because he’s Oscar Wilde. I don’t care if he was gay. If I could go back in time, I would spend all of my time trying to seduce him; 3. Robin Hood, because he stole from the rich and gave to the poor. Duh. 4. Shonda Rhimes, the writer of my favorite TV show. I think I would actually eat a hot dog if it meant I could be on "Grey's Anatomy".