The stupidest things I've ever done.

1. Ate two large bowls of Chocolate Moose Tracks (a la my feelings) with generous gobs of Jif peanut butter swirled in. And that was just last night.
2. Said, "Hey, three-year-old girl, do you want to play with paints?"
3. Assumed any part of me would ever be capable of using a Wii. That stuff is just not compatible with my level of coordination. Rainbow Road was a terrible, terrible tragedy.
4. Told myself it would be a good idea to call Jesse McCartney's fan voice mail gizmo with two friends, tell him we were in college, and giggle like eleventeen-year-olds. Good story, but still embarrassing.
5. Watched The Ring.
6. Asked a short man with a mustache if he wanted a kids' menu.
7. Thought, "I can take 8:30 classes every day next semester. I'll get used to it."
8. Stared at a bell pepper plant for a few minutes asking myself why the tomatoes were shaped so weird.
9. Washed a few plates with laundry detergent because I was too lazy to go get the dish soap. (It made things taste funny).
10. Dropped a fork on a baby while busing tables.
11. Watched a cat eat pizza off a plate for a good three minutes before realization kicked in that I should probably prevent it from doing that.
12. Woke up and immediately decided my left eye had gotten five hours of sleep, while my right had gotten six. And didn't realize what was wrong with that thought until half an hour later.
13. Tried to find fireworks on the Fourth of July. (Seriously, just go to the city. Because NOBODY ELSE has them).
14. To be continued. Trust me.